What Exactly Happens During EMDR?
Ever wonder what exactly happens during EMDR therapy?
You might have heard of it from a friend, your therapist, or maybe online, but not everyone knows what goes on in a session.
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It’s a special type of therapy used to help people work through trauma, anxiety, and distressing memories.
While it might sound complicated, the process is more straightforward than you think.
What Is EMDR Therapy?
EMDR therapy is a mental health treatment designed to help people process difficult or painful memories. It’s commonly used to treat PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), but it can also help with anxiety, panic attacks, depression, and other emotional issues.
The idea behind EMDR is that trauma gets “stuck” in the brain, causing negative thoughts, feelings, and even physical symptoms.
EMDR helps the brain reprocess those memories more healthily, so they no longer feel overwhelming.
What Exactly Happens During EMDR? A Step-by-Step Look
Step 1: Getting Ready for EMDR
Before diving into the actual EMDR process, your therapist will spend time getting to know you. They’ll talk about:
Your history
What brought you to therapy
What memories or experiences do you want to work on
This part helps build trust. You’ll also learn coping tools to keep yourself calm during and after sessions, such as deep breathing, grounding techniques, or visualization.
Step 2: Choosing the Target Memory
Once you're ready, the therapist will help you pick a specific memory to focus on. This is often a traumatic event or a moment that still feels upsetting.
You’ll also be asked to:
Describe the memory (what happened, how it made you feel)
Rate the emotional distress it causes (usually on a scale from 0 to 10)
Note any negative beliefs you still hold (like “I’m not safe” or “It was my fault”)
At this point, you’ll also think of a positive belief you’d rather believe (such as “I am safe now” or “It wasn’t my fault”).
Step 3: The Eye Movements
What is bilateral stimulation?
This is the unique part of EMDR. Your therapist will guide you through bilateral stimulation, which simply means activating both sides of your brain.
The most common method is moving your eyes back and forth while following the therapist’s fingers. But other methods include:
Tapping your hands or knees in a left-right pattern
Listening to tones that alternate between your ears
Holding small buzzers that vibrate in your hands
What happens during this part?
As you focus on the memory, your therapist will ask you to follow the eye movements or other bilateral cues. After a short round, the therapist will pause and ask:
“What came up just now?”
“What are you feeling?”
“What are you noticing?”
You don’t have to explain everything in detail. Just share what popped into your mind: thoughts, images, feelings, or even body sensations. Then you do another round.
This back-and-forth process continues as your brain slowly “digests” the memory.
Step 4: Letting the Brain Do the Work
One of the most surprising parts of EMDR is that you don’t have to talk the whole time. The brain does much of the work on its own. As the session goes on, people often notice that:
The memory becomes less vivid or emotional
New thoughts pop up (like realizations or new perspectives)
The distress rating goes down
Eventually, the memory that once felt painful starts to feel distant, neutral, or even resolved.
Step 5: Strengthening the Positive Belief
After the distress fades, your therapist will help you focus on that positive belief you chose earlier, like “I’m strong” or “I did my best.”
Using the same eye movements or tapping, you’ll repeat that positive belief while thinking about the memory. This helps “lock in” the healthier thought and make it stick.
Step 6: Checking the Body
Memories aren’t just stored in the mind—they also live in the body.
That’s why your therapist will ask how your body feels after the session. If there’s any tension, discomfort, or leftover emotion, you might do a few more rounds to process it.
The goal is to leave the session feeling as calm and balanced as possible.
Step 7: Closing the Session
At the end, your therapist will help you return to the present moment. They may use grounding exercises or relaxation techniques to help you feel safe and stable.
It’s normal to feel a little tired or emotional afterward. Your therapist might ask you to keep a journal and note anything that comes up between sessions.
Does EMDR Really Work?
Yes, many studies show that EMDR is effective, especially for trauma and PTSD. Organizations like the World Health Organization (WHO) and the American Psychological Association (APA) recognize EMDR as a recommended treatment for trauma.
Many people feel relief after just a few sessions, though the number of sessions needed depends on the person and the severity of their trauma.
Who Can Benefit from EMDR?
EMDR isn’t just for war veterans or people with severe trauma. It can help with:
Childhood abuse or neglect
Car accidents
Grief and loss
Panic attacks
Anxiety or phobias
Bad breakups or toxic relationships
Bullying or emotional abuse
If you’ve been through something that still bothers you—no matter how big or small—EMDR might help.
Common Questions About What Exactly Happens During EMDR
Is EMDR like hypnosis?
No. You stay fully awake and in control the whole time. You’re just focusing on the memory while your brain does the processing work.
Will I have to relive everything?
You won’t have to retell every detail. You’ll think about the memory, but your therapist guides you through it gently and safely.
What if I feel overwhelmed?
Before starting EMDR, you’ll learn calming tools to help you feel grounded. Your therapist will go at your pace and stop anytime you need to take a break.
Your healing doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s.
If you’re carrying emotional pain that just won’t go away, EMDR might be worth looking into. A licensed EMDR therapist can help you explore whether it’s the right fit—and walk with you through the process, step by step.
Final Thoughts
When people ask what exactly happens during EMDR, they’re usually surprised by how natural and calming it can be. It’s not about digging up pain or talking for hours. Instead, it’s about helping your brain heal in the way it’s designed to.
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